The random rantings of a concerned programmer.


December 07th, 2010 | Category: Random

Sup guys.

I kinda missed having a place to post stupid shit that no one cares about, so I guess I’m gonna start doing that again.

Since the last post, I quit my job and got a new one working in California. After working there for a couple months, a co-worker and I decided that we could do things a fuckton better (no one else gave a shit at the new job either, big surprise) so we split off and are making our own company. I’m sitting in an airport in Charlotte, North Carolina waiting to get on a plane to Texas where we’ll be basing the new company. The business model for the new company will primarily involve sucking the massive aluminum and glass cock of Steve Jobs and occasionally taking it up the ass. This is a step up from fist-fucking PHP on a daily basis.

Why Texas? Because the beer is fucking cheap and there are lots of hookers there.

The new topics of this blog will cover:

  • How much Objective-C fucking sucks.
  • Steve Job’s dick.
  • Bitching about Node.js and custom V8 extensions.
  • Which entails fucking around with C++.
  • Some PHP shit on the side, of course, because it pays money.
  • And a tad of Python to keep everything lubricated.

Gonna try to keep it only QUALITY CONTENT, but you know me — I’ll probably get piss drunk one night and start ranting about how I tried to have sex with this one chick and she vom’d on me but it was okay until “she” turned out to be a transvestite which, in retrospect, shouldn’t have surprised me because her beard was more impressive than mine.

And I have an impressive beard.



July 20th, 2009 | Category: Random

I really hate it when someone asks “HOW DO I SECURE MY INSTALLATION?”. Seriously. What the fuck answer do people think they’re going to get? “Oh you need to hobble your gobble bobbles in the main config file”. These piece-of-shit software packages come as secure as they’re going to fucking get. There’s no magic silver goddamn bullet to harden your fucking LAMP stack.

inb4 mod_security2/suhosin/hardened-php because those are all more-or-less bullshit hacks that have nothing to do with application code.


I’ve just fucking got working — it’s a Comet server written in Erlang that’s been a dead project for over a year. Their Dojo-based demo is completely dysfunctional, but the JQuery one works fine and JQuery is my JavaScript bread-and-butter. This is going to be a fun investigation into the wonderful world of Web 3.0 — where the server knows what you want before you request it.

Mostly I just didn’t fucking want to use a Python (through Twisted) or Java-based stack even though the Twisted one is the most mature (Omegle is based on the Twisted stack, for example). Fucking slow-ass scheme-killing snake >:(

PS: my dog died RIP

PPS: I finally figured out how to build *just* the NetBSD kernel and now have a working wireless device. Huzzah.

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How To Survive In a Horror Flick

May 06th, 2009 | Category: Random

Or, what protagonists do wrong.

Seriously. Every fucking horror flick I watch pisses me off to no goddamn end. The protagonists are fucking stupid, with very few exceptions. There’s three fucking things that the writers always seem to fucking ignore (either because it would break the fucking plot or because they’re too fucking stupid, I don’t know).


Fucking seriously. Got something long and rigid? It’s a weapon. Got a mirror? It’s a weapon. Got a piece of furniture? It’s a weapon. Fuck got your little sister? She’s a fucking weapon too (though that lamp or that glassware or that beer bottle or HALF THE FUCKING THINGS IN THE ROOM WORK BETTER THAN WHATEVER THE PROTAGONIST IS WIELDING).


There’s nothing like A FUCKING INFERNO to confuse the fuck out of your predators. Trapped in a hotel room? FUCKING SET THE ROOM ON FIRE. Being chased around in a forest? FUCKING SET THE FOREST ON FIRE. Fucking everything is flammable; there’s no reason you can’t stop fucking crying and start fucking burning.

As an added bonus, it’ll attract the police.


Unless the predator has bloodhounds, the nose of a bloodhound or fucking thermographic vision (ie, he’s pretty much JUST A NORMAL PERSON) he CAN’T SEE SHIT AT NIGHT. It’s FUCKING DARK OUT AFTER ALL. Need to hide somewhere at night? Just jump into a fucking bush. The bigger and leafier the better. I fucking guarantee you that if there are enough fucking bushes (and you’re not doing stupid shit like making farting noises or bawing your eyes out) no one is going to fucking find you until morning.





February 19th, 2009 | Category: Random

I think I might have mono, lol. Been incredibly fatigued with more phlegm than normal and a soft, dry cough. I’ve more appetite than usual, but I’m attributing that to an increase in physical activity the past couple weeks.

Anyway, I was yesterday and, sure enough, found some other legacy Perl scripts which have some nice vulnerabilities:

use CGI;
$query = new CGI;
$target = $query->param('link');
$TARGETPAGE = "../$target";
open(INFILE, "$TARGETPAGE") || die "bogus file supplied: $TARGETPAGE";
while(){ print STDOUT $_; }

Basically, it’s the nicest thing they could have done — send an unchecked user string to Perl’s open function. open has this awesome feature called a “pipe open”, whereby if the last character is a |, the filename is passed to sh -c and the file descriptor for the new process’s stdout is bound.

Anyway I had a nice long writeup about the machine in question but fucking WordPress is a faggy piece of software and ate the goddamn post. Spoiler it’s running FreeBSD 4.7 and is actually properly set up — Apache and MySQL are running in a jail, so even after rooting the machinejail I can’t get tentacles into the kernel to properly compromise it (and I was so looking forward to stretching my legs with a nice FreeBSD kernel module in C). If only our machines at work were set up so nicely.

boring nyoro~n

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December 24th, 2007 | Category: Random

I really love the night. Something about it is so calming, so nice that I really just can’t help but stay up into the wee hours of the morning doing absolutely nothing. Adding to it, I’m at my parent’s house right now, and not only is the house basically perched on top of a cliff, but my room is on the top floor of the cliff-side, overlooking quite a bit of land. Out in the distance I can clearly make out the lights from the city of Fredicksburg.

Last night, the entire vista was shrouded in a thick rainy fog into the early hours; this evening the clouds parted to reveal a stark naked sky showing the full moon in it’s glory. Moonlight radiates in through my window tonight, illuminating the street below. The forest beyond is silhouetted by the reflection of the shadowy rays on the waterway which feeds into the Potomac river.

Adding to the glorious sight is the crisp, cool winter air wafting in through the window, merging with the dry, hot ionized air from my room. Everything is still; there are no sounds save the quiet takatakatakatakataka of me typing out this post. No commotion, no one coming to bother me with random things, no work to get done. It’s really just the best time of the day.


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