The random rantings of a concerned programmer.


July 20th, 2009 | Category: Random

I really hate it when someone asks “HOW DO I SECURE MY INSTALLATION?”. Seriously. What the fuck answer do people think they’re going to get? “Oh you need to hobble your gobble bobbles in the main config file”. These piece-of-shit software packages come as secure as they’re going to fucking get. There’s no magic silver goddamn bullet to harden your fucking LAMP stack.

inb4 mod_security2/suhosin/hardened-php because those are all more-or-less bullshit hacks that have nothing to do with application code.


I’ve just fucking got working — it’s a Comet server written in Erlang that’s been a dead project for over a year. Their Dojo-based demo is completely dysfunctional, but the JQuery one works fine and JQuery is my JavaScript bread-and-butter. This is going to be a fun investigation into the wonderful world of Web 3.0 — where the server knows what you want before you request it.

Mostly I just didn’t fucking want to use a Python (through Twisted) or Java-based stack even though the Twisted one is the most mature (Omegle is based on the Twisted stack, for example). Fucking slow-ass scheme-killing snake >:(

PS: my dog died RIP

PPS: I finally figured out how to build *just* the NetBSD kernel and now have a working wireless device. Huzzah.

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June 23rd, 2009 | Category: Random

455785d1ff3869b642fea479110a35a5_19ccBefore the shitstorm hits . Yes, there are offsite backups for all the stuff on there but meh probably going to be awhile before I’m arsed to actually restore it. Kind of want to rewrite the damn thing again. I cbf’d to put the images in a torrent or whatever because they’re all shit anyway. RIP.

And I csup‘d a bad kernel last night on my laptop or something because it panicked a couple minutes ago. Naturally this means spending the rest of the night dicking around with it to get a crash dump (it didn’t leave one FUUUUUUUUUUU) then dicking around in gdb to find the cause of the crash (or just posting the traces to the mailing list). <3

Pic potentially related to binge drinking for the past week.



March 03rd, 2009 | Category: Random

OK so… I slept with Leah Culver. This isn’t a bel-air or copypasta.

I’m not going to tell you who I am, but I’m a lead developer at a relatively new startup which recently (thank god in today’s climate) got some decent funding from a VC. Techcrunch covered us, so if you want to do some digging maybe you can guess.

But I digress. A few weeks (months?) ago I met Leah at a conference, and the way she acts around all men is over-the-top flirtatious. I mean, it’s really bad. The worst part is that most of us programmer types don’t even know what to do with her… but of course, the CEOs, MBAs, marketing-types are all over her. Most of those guys are really smooth with women, I guess you have to have great social skills all around.

Anyways, as it turns out Leah isn’t into that kind of a guy. I’m sure you’ve heard that nerds are much more grateful to get laid, actually try in bed, etc. So maybe that’s why she likes the socially awkward types so much.

Since I really didn’t think I had a chance at the time, I was really acting naturally around her, as opposed to some of the other guys who just choked up. We really hit it off, and before I knew it we were back at my hotel room.

I’ve gotta say she wasn’t so great in bed. I haven’t been with that many women in my life but I can tell good sex from bad sex.

I haven’t seen her since, and (unfortunately?) we didn’t keep in touch. She didn’t ask me for any favors or try to “advance her career”. I think she genuinely likes banging dorks.

And I guess there’s nothing wrong with that.

I weeped (and fapped gently) to the thought of someone soiling my princess. At least Haskell will always be pure forever ;_;

(emphasis mine)


I haven’t masturbated in 5 days

February 11th, 2009 | Category: Random

I kind of miss FrozenVoid :(

Also I think writing PHP for 8 hours/day has fucking destroyed my libido. I swear I looked at (what I would have previously considered) an attractive young women today and thought “I bet she’s type juggling a penis.” In retrospect, that sounds kind of hot. FUCK HASKELL COME BACK DON’T LEAVE ME WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE


this needs to be reposted

February 06th, 2009 | Category: Random


Also I checked the mail yesterday and there was a legit bill from Comcast for the $140 that they wanted from me on the phone. The check I sent them already cleared and I’m all paid up — they can just eat my dick for being so fucking sketchy about it.

Three goals for this weekend:

  1. Start a Shadowrun campaign.
  2. Get some work done on the Haskell version of Luscious.
  3. Not get absolute shitfaced.

(she is mai waifu).